with every last second
by smilez014
Summary: three-shot; he was the guy and she was the girl and they never did get to fall in love the way they wanted. One christmas eve night, it all changes, and it only took was a letter she wrote five years ago. ::cassie:: for Donna/HopelesslyDevoted76's SSFEx
1. part one

**author's note: okay, so here's my secret santa for Donna/HopelesslyDevoted76 :) i hope you enjoy it! and to all my ff friends, have an amazing christmas :) i love you all. so i'm doing something quite daring xD i'm writing a story in two POVs. the italics are the past and normal font is present day. And in the POV of Massie and Cam. it switches throughout the story, so yeah xD**

**disclaimer: i do not own the following: the clique, the clique, the clique, the clique, the clique, the clique, the clique, and oh yeah! THE CLIQUE. **

**anyway, merry christmas and a happy new year! everyone :) this is a two-shot, btw(: **

for _donna_/HopelesslyDevoted76

with _every_ **last **s e c o **n** d  
by _smilez014_

*** m e r r y c h r i s t m a s ! ***

:: Happy _New_ Year! ::

_- _every secret or every deam, i'll be there, listening to your silent screams.

_"I'll race you to the tree house!" Cam Fisher shouted happily as the dismissal bell rang. He looked back at Massie Block and held onto the straps of his large backpack. Massie laughed and secured her backpack and pink lunch box before taking off on her short seven year old legs. She hurriedly ran off after Cam who was already down their neighborhood. _

_Once Massie made it to the Fisher's large tree house, Cam was already climbing up the ladder. Massie ran towards the wooden ladder and quickly made her way up to find Cam greeting her with a juice box and animal crackers, "good day, mi lady." _

_Massie chuckled and sat, legs crossed on the tree house floor. She zipped open her bag and pulled out a bag of M & M's. Cam sat across from her and started to devour their snacks. This were their lives, because their mothers were such good friends, it kind of gave them the extra push to try to be friends as well. It wasn't hard, they just clicked. _

"Are you coming home this year?" Kendra, Massie's mother asked. Massie held the phone between her chin and her slender shoulder. Her hair was in a messy bun and her room was filled with fabric samples and articles of clothing on hangers.

"I'm not sure mom, I don't know if I can get away." Massie said into her cell phone, "It's kinda hard to get away, especially since I have to register once the new year starts."

Kendra sighed, "Okay, Mass, but please tell me you'll be here for your spring break."

Massie chuckled, searching through the piles of text books that occupied the space on her study table. "I'll try to be mom." Loose strands of hair fell in front of her face.

"Alright, so have you talked to Cam recently?" Kendra asked.

Massie opened her fashion design portfolio. As a sophomore in college, -an exclusive design college in Paris, France- it was a handful to keep all her things organized. "What?" Massie asked, shifting through yarn and buttons on her bed.

"Have you spoke to Cam recently?" Kendra asked, "he's coming home for the holidays."

"That's nice," Massie said a bit uninterested as she flipped through a copy of Vogue. All the photos of the trendiest clothes fasicinated Massie. They always have since she was just a little girl. She'd remember spending a good amount of time flipping through her mother's copies of Vogue, Elle, Glamour, and etcetera.

It happened when she was seven and the stack of magazines were laying neatly on the coffee table. Massie got home from school and her mother was on the phone with Mrs. Fisher. Massie grew impatient, so she picked up a magazine and was instantly mesmerized by the outfits that were displayed on each page. Trendy, vintage, punk rock, preppy... they were all in there.

Once Massie was twelve, she picked up a needle and an old t-shirt, she quickly convereted it into a trendy top with a pair of large sissors. After that, Massie was hooked. She'd go into second hand stores just to see if she could mix and match with her designer brands. She'd spend hours and hours cutting, sewing, and bedazzling. It was all so much fun.

The day Massie turned seventeen, she knew, she knew this was her passion. Fashion, no matter how corny that sounded. She loved fasion and wanted to start a career with it. It's what took her this far... that and a little help from a multi-colored eyed boy.

_Twelve-year-old Cam Fisher looked at fellow classmate, Massie Block. They were sitting in the school courtyard during break, when Cam asked, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" His voice made it's way quickly into her ear. Massie's head was down as she stared at her silver Miu Miu flats. _

_She looked up at him, "what do you mean?"_

_Cam stared right back, "What do you mean, 'what do you mean'? I mean, what do you want to do, who do you want to become. Your future, do you have any plans or goals for yourself?"_

_Massie remained silent for a moment, she thought to herself. Did she really have an ambition? Did she have something that inspired her? Something she wanted to do? Someone she wanted to be? _

_Cam waited awhile, almost like this question desperately needed to be answered. _

_After a moment, Cam sighed, "Um, it's okay."_

_Massie shook her head, "No, I actually... actually... don't tell anyone, but I want to become a fashion designer."_

_"A fasion designer?" Cam's eyebrows flew to the top of his forehead. "Really?" _

_Massie nodded slowly, "yeah, I kinda... really like designing clothes, is that weird?" She asked tugging onto the dress she designed herself. _

_Cam shook his head, "no, I think that's pretty cool." _

_Massie looked at him, "Really?" Her amber eyes widened in disbelief. She's never told anyone she wanted to be a fashion designer, her dad always thought it was just a 'hobby' nothing you could make real money out of. In many ways, that hurt Massie, but that never let her stop dreaming.  
_

- we'll spend our nights dreaming under the stars.

Cam Fisher sat at his table and took another sip of his Starbucks coffee, he quickly began typing away on his laptop. He sat alone at his seat, all by himself in the half-full coffeee shop. This was his usual schedue, his life practically. He would wake up, go to class, and then head to the local Starbucks near campus. He'd spend hours on end, typing away on his laptop replying to emails from friends and family, poking people back on Facebook, typing up research papers that were due the next week, and just sitting there so he wouldn't have to be alone.

Not that Cam was alone, not really. Yes, he was alone in California for college and all his friends were miles away but he wasn't alone. Cam never felt alone. He did sleep by himself, in his own dorm every night, but he never did feel alone. He never felt that emptiness which was being lonely. He's never felt like he was the only person left on Earth, because he wasn't.

Or maybe it was the fact that Cam was so used to being alone, to being all by himself, with no one to depend on. He's always been alone, really. Even when Cam was in a big group of friends, he's always been alone. But maybe that feeling of being used to be alone made him forget what the feeling of being with friends and family was like. Maybe Cam was just supposed to be forever alone.

A little girl around the age of eight walked in with her mother, the little girl took her hand and smiled at all the Christmas decorations around the coffee shop. Her eyes lit up brightly as she admired the oranments around the shop.

Cam stared at for a moment, and suddenly he felt a strange beating to his heart. He remembered having the same expression on his face whenever he was around an old friend. An old friend, being Massie Block.

_"I spend my nights in here sometimes," Fourteen-year-old Cam Fisher, whispered with his arm over Massie. She smiled, "It is nice up here," She mused and her fingers trailed down Cam's chest. _

_She stared out onto the large roof window, taking in the breathtaking stars and sceneray. It was such a beautiful sight to see. Cam held Massie close, it was mid-November and the chilly air was thickening within the hour. Cam just held onto her tightly, listening to her beating heart. _

_"Why do you come here alone?" Massie asked him thoughtfully._

_Cam just shrugged, "I don't know, sometimes I just like being alone."_

_"You're not alone, you're here with me," Massie smiled and adjusted the position her head was in. "Being alone seems so depressing, so boring. Do you like to be alone?"_

_Cam didn't say anything for a few minutes, and then he said, "I like to be alone with you."_

- I just want, you and me. that is all.

"JOSH! PLEASE." Massie yelped into her phone as she walked down the hallway of her dormitory. Everyone looked out their dorm rooms to see what the fuss was about. Massie ignored all of them as she made her way outside the dorm and plopped herself onto a bench.

"Mass, I really, really can't go home this year," Josh replied then his voice dropped a little lower, "And can you not scream? i'm in class, right now."

"I thought you said you were done with classes?" Massie asked suspiciously.

Josh didn't say anything for a moment, then said, "I have just on extra class left."

"Really?" Massie asked, her eyebro going up. "What is it?"

Josh chuckled nervously. "Um, physics, and what's with all the questions? Are we playing 20-Q here? Give me a break, do you not trust me?"

Massie contemplated that for a moment, she didn't really know sometimes. She and Josh have only been dating for less than a few months. And he went to school all the way in London. And of course, Josh Hotz had a reputation. He dated more girls than Massie had on her contacts. Massie didn't always know why she was dating Josh, she just was. Maybe it was the way he laughed, the way he smiled, or the way he said she looked beautiful. Whatever the reason, it was working.

_"So, I saw you and Alicia Rivera at the Halloween Dance together," Fourteen-year-old Massie said as she twirled a long strand of auburn hair. _

_Cam looked at her, as they laid under the tree house. It was a cool November day and the usual emerald green trees were slowly changing into a crisp autumn with shades of scarlet and dandelion. A stray leaf hang helplessly on a thin branch. Massie watched as it shook in the wind. Suddenly, she grew irrtiated and impatient with the leaf. Wny didn't it just fall? _

_After a moment, Cam spoke up, "um, yeah, I did." His voice was soft like a peaceful melody. Then he said, "And you went with Chris Plovert."_

_Massie nodded slowly, "yup."_

_Cam nodded, "So, did he treat you right?" He asked shyly._

_Massie looked up at him, "What do you mean?"_

_Cam shrugged, "Chris... kind of has a reputation of leaving girls and being a total ass about it." His eyes stared out into the distance. Massie pulled another strand of hair and twirled it around her slender finger. She looked over at Cam to see him just laying there and looking back at her. _

_Massie spoke up softly, "Well, he's really nice. I mean he's sweet around me."_

_Cam stared back at her amber orbes. "Well, I just want you to be careful. Please."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because I care about you," Cam half smiled, a half smile that made Massie's heart skip a beat. He inched closer, almost like he was going to kiss Massie. She inched closer too, not really knowing what she was doing. _

_They were only an inch away from eachother, with no air coming between them. It was almost perfect, almost serene. Massie's eye lids dropped a bit lower and Cam just smiled, "It's hard not to, you know? To care about you. You're just so amazing and for some reason, i'm never going to get enough of you."_

**a/n: okay. the next chapter will come tomorrow! what do you think? good? bad? it'll get better and if it was confusing, then let me know? **

**review, and have an amazing 2011 everyone! and Donna! i'm sorry this came later than i expected to post it :(**


	2. part two

**a/n: okay, again, sorry this took forever, i had to re-write everything since it didn't save into my flashdrive. ugh. :O again, Donna, i'm so sorry. unforturnately, i've been really occupied with school since it . but anyway, this is part two of this threeshot (yes, i wanted to make it a three-shot, because i've been obsessing over this plot for the longest time, and i can not fix everything in just two chapters or even one O:) **

**okay, so this chapter will be a bit hard to read, considering it switches POVs so much. so, in normal font, it's either Massie or Cam in present day. In Italics, it's their past. and in bold, it's the letter Massie is reading, kay?  
**

**i hope you guys like it! **

**once again;  
**this is for:

**D**onna/_HopelesslyDevoted76_

- you're making me chase you like stardust.

Massie leaned down and picked up a stack of magazines that fell to the floor of her dorm room. She quickly gathered all the magazines into a nice, neat pile. Massie stood up, holding the magazines and then suddenly, a thick white envelope fell to the ground. It read the date of that year's Christmas eve in what looked like Massie's handwriting. She bent down and took the thick envelope between her fingers. It was her handwriting, although it looked foreign and sloppier.

She gently placed the magazines she was holding on her messy desk and plopped her butt down on her bed, that was still unmade from it's previous sleep. She quickly tore the seal off and started reading.

**i solemnly swear on being young and insane, that I, Massie Block, and I, Cam Fisher, make a promise we'll take to the grave...**

_Cam and Alicia have officially been dating for one month, two weeks, and four days. It was both their first relationship, and honestly, it wasn't that bad. Cam did genuinely like Alicia, she was smart and cute and gorgeous beyond belief. Her hair was always luxioriously hanging down and her lips were always glossed to perfection. Everyday, they would walk into school hand in hand. Fingers linked. Hearts entwined. _

_And everyone was happy for them, well from what Cam could tell. Everytime they passed by people at school, they all smiled and made kissy faces and giggled. It was all positive, nothing bad seemed to tear them apart. It was all just perfect bliss. _

**that we swear, we will never forget it, we will never break this promise. Once we do, we promise we can blackmail each other to no end...**

_Chris Plovert was not Massie's boyfriend, not really, anyway. All they ever did was hang out and go on dates every now and then. He would carry her bag for her in the halls and he'd also buy her lunch sometimes, but were they official? Not really. It's not like they were in love with eachother, though Massie did find quite a fancy to Chris Plovert. He was just fun to be around, he had this spontaneous energy that was hard not to grow fond of. _

_He'd surprised her with flowers at her locker, cute notes slipped into her bag, and always a warm cup of coffee to welcome Massie. It's like they were together, but they weren't at the same time. Because it's not like they always needed to be together. It's not like Massie got jealous when Chris hung out with other girls and they did not spend their lunches together. Because Massie spent most of her time watching Cam and Alicia. Not that she really cared, or she did. She just didn't know why. _

_Maybe she was jealous, maybe. _

Cam quickly zipped up his backpack and slung it across his shoulder. He headed straight towards the gates and walked into the aiport lobby. He ran a hand through his dark hair and hailed a taxi. In a matter of moments, a yellow taxi cab drove up the airport's curb. The thick air smelled widly of exhaust and warm pretzels. Cam slid into the back seat of the taxi, he was finally back in New York.

"Where to sir?" The taxi driver turned around to see Cam.

"Westchester," Cam replied easliy and looked out the window. The driver started the engine and quickly pulled out of the curb and began his journey.

_"Why are you making this such a big deal?" Cam asked while pacing in his room, his hands stuffed into his pockets. _

_Massie stared at him, her eyes wide with frustration and face burning. She glared at him by the window of Cam's room. Cam stared back at her. "Well?"_

_"I don;t know, okay?" Massie cried, her frustration growing wildly. She honestly, didn't know why she was so frustrated. She just was. It wasn't really Cam's fault, maybe it was just the fact that he was in his stupid relationship with stupid Alicia Rivera. Stupid bitch._

_Cam took a few steps forward, his eyes curious and generous, "Mass? C'mon, tell me."_

_Massie sighed and walked over to his bed, with a few frustrated exhales, she collapsed onto it. She covered her eyes with her hands, as a comfort or some source of protection. She just couldn't stand this, she couldn't bare it. It was all so confusing. She peeked through the spaces of her fingers and stared at Cam's dark blue ceiling. Massie heaved aggravated breaths. _

_Cam walked over to her and laid down on the available spot next to her. Cam looked up at the ceiling, his breaths even and calm. Peaceful and serene. Massie listened to it, suddenly her breathing mimicking his own. _

_In a matter of moments, she was relaxed. _

_She didn't even know why she felt angry in the first place. Okay, well Massie did know. It was all the complications of having to see someone you truly cared about with someone else. The feeling of want, greed, anger, and then some. It was the feeling of being the worst friend in the world. _

_To put it simply, she was just jealous. Jealous of Alicia because she was with Cam. But did she even like Cam? She didn't. She only looked at him as a friend, a really good friend. Almost like a brother. _

_And falling in love with someone you considered family was beyond creepy, it was even wrong. Because on thing was for sure, Massie was no fan of incest. _

_Cam turned to his side and looked over at her, half his face buried into a soft pillow. "So?"_

_Massie just shrugged, "This is so stupid, I'm acting so immature and I abso-fucking-lutely hate it." She sighed and chewed on the bottom of her lip. _

_Cam chuckled, "What's wrong? Did I do something wrong? Was it because of the dance?" He asked. In a way, maybe it was. Because Cam and Massie did talk about going to the dance together. Just as friends, if they couldn't find someone else. Massie had no date, well, Chris asked her, but it's not like she said 'yes' because in all honesty, she did want to go to Cam. She wanted to get all dressed up, drink bad punch, and dance to crappy music with Cam. _

_But then, he wasn't aware Massie was serious about going to the dance together. So he asked Alicia. It didn't take affect to her then, but once Massie saw the two together, it was like a bullet to the heart. Because maybe, just maybe Massie sort of had a thing for her best friend. _

- are there over a thousand ways to say it? if i just say i love you, will that mean a thing?

"Cam! you're home!" Mrs. Fisher opened the door to the large Fisher house with arms spread wide open. Cam chuckled as he took slips of tens out of his wallet and handed it over to the cab driver. The cab driver gladly accepted it and then smiled. Cam nodded at him, then closed the car door.

Mrs. Fisher ran towards Cam in her tan Armani flats and wrapped her arms around her youngest son. Cam happily hugged her back. His mom was one of his favorite people in the world, from her kind motherly like qualities to her understanding and forgiving personality. Either way, Cam did dread coming home to Westchester, but he never did regret it once he saw his mom.

"It's so good to see you," She said, pulling back to inspect her son. "You're taller!" She commented and reached out her hand to touch the top of his head. Cam chuckled as he watched his mother stand on her tip toes.

"Yeah," Cam nodded and looked around the front yard. The snow fall only begun in New York, so the front yard wasn't completely covered with white snow yet. Only some corners of the ground occupied piles of sloshy snow and Cam didn't even need to wear his jacket. He stood comofortably in just his black sweater.

"Cam? Is that you?" a familiar voice called from over the short brick wall to the side of the Fisher house. Cam looked over to see Kendra Block's head floating behind the wall. She smiled and walked along it, then finally her full body appeared and she headed into the Fisher lawn.

"Hey!" Cam smiled and accepted the hug from their next-door-neighbor. She smelled stronly of Chanel perfume, the _exact_ number, Cam could not figure out.

"It's amazing to see you, dear." Mrs. Block rubbed his back and then pulled away. She looked just like how Cam remembered, glamorous in everyway possible. Brilliant make up that looked natural (but was obvious it was there), designer clothing that accented her yoga-like figure, and hair that was impossible to grow a gray hair, even at her age.

"You too," Cam smiled brightly.

Cam's mom smiled and then ran a hand through her hair, "Why don't we go and have a snack? I have some cookies fresh from the oven on the kitchen table."

Kendra smiled, "sounds like a plan." She nodded and quickly linked arms with Mrs. Fisher, her best friend for the past thirty years. The two were instantly engrossed in a conversation about the latest Prada bag.

Cam followed slowly behind, taking all his bags. He looked around, to take everything in. It was quite, the oak trees were all naked of leaves, the snow falling peacefully. It was kind of nice, in a way. But then Cam turned his head over to the old tree house where he used to play with his best friend.

It was still standing strong though the paint was peeling off a little, the wood growing a little old, and the ladder looked a bit crooked. Some of his best memories were in that tree house. It was his safe haven, his escape. Where he would escape with ..with her.

_"I saw you and Chris kissing," Cam said as he came up to the tree house where Massie was already waiting. She looked up at him, a little shocked. A little confused. Cam did not say hi or hello, he went straight to business._

_"Oh," was all Massie could say, there was no denial in her voice or anything. She could gladly admit that her first kiss was with Chris Plovert and she wouldn't regret it. But she just didn't know how to respond to Cam. Was she supposed to lie and keep it from him? What would that do? They were not dating. He was with Alicia. _

_"Yeah," Cam nodded and sat down on the floor, opposite side from her. "So?"_

_"So what?" Massie asked. _

_"So... you and Chris are now dating?" Cam asked slowly._

_Massie shrugged, "maybe."_

_"Maybe?" Cam's eyebrows jumped up. _

_Massie nodded, "Yeah." She just shrugged. For some reason, she was so calm about this. She could admit it, Massie Block did have a tiny crush on Cam Fisher. But then, she honestly did like Chris. He was just fun to be around and he wasn't as confusing as Cam was (or as any boy, for that matter). _

_"I... don't think he's good enough for you," Cam blurted out simply._

_Masie raised an eyebrow at him, "What?"_

_Cam nodded, wanting to stand by his opinion. He wasn't going to back down now. "Yeah. You could do better."_

_Massie blinked, just to see if she was in some crazy messed up fantasy dream. Was this real? Was Cam really saying this? Suddenly, she felt insulted. "What are you saying exactly?"_

_Cam shrugged, "I couldn't have said it any more simple." _

_Massie let out one hysterical laugh, "What?" She narrowed her amber eyes at him, she was now pissed. She stood up and could instantly feel her face heating up and her muscles tensing. "You are not serious are you?"_

_Cam jumped to his feet as well. He was obviously no coward (which Massie had to give him props for), but there was no way he could actually be saying this to her. How could he be? He was with Alicia Rivera and she was kinda sorta with Chris Plovert. But what did it matter? Both the two, did not know. _

- Believe in me. Just close your eyes and breathe.

Massie continued reading the letter she wrote five years ago. It was unbelievable. How could she have forgotten? It was the promise that kept her going. So, how could she have forgetten? Did it not mean anything to her? It did. It still does.

After all these years, it did.

That's when it hit her. Something, somewhere finally told her what she needed to do. She stood up and threw the letter on her desk, she walked over to her closet and pulled out her suitcase. She instantly began throwing articles of clothing into it, until it started piling like a mountain. She closed her suitcase, locked it, pulled the handle and rolled it out her room.

She dialed Josh's number, he didn't pick up. She dialed it again, he didn't pick up then.

Massie sighed and stuffed her phone into her Burberry bag with annoyance. She didn't know exactly what she was doing, she just was taking actions into her own hands for once.

She quickly got into a cab and directed the driver to go to the airport.

_"I need to tell you something," Cam whispered as they made snow angels in the Fisher's backyard. Massie looked up at him, still moving her arms back and forth shaping her angel. _

_Massie nodded, stopping her movements, "Okay, what?" She whispered back. _

_Cam sat down next to her, his legs crossed. He used his index fingers to draw figures into the soft snow. Massie watched, fascinated by every twirl, curve, and spin his fingers took. Cam didn't meet her eyes, but he started speaking, "So, you and Chris... are getting serious?"_

_Massie looked at him, her eyes indifferent, "I don't want to talk about this, Cam. Chris and I. Right now, we're together, and it's just us."_

_"So, there's an 'us'?" Cam looked at her. _

_Massie nodded, "yeah, there will us be an 'us,' no matter what. We're best friends, aren't we?" She looked at him, eyes wide with panic. _

_Cam nodded, "yeah, but I just... Mass, I... kinda like you." Cam said the last words quietly. Massie sat up, her eyes wide with a concution of mixed feelings. Massie was feeling nothing more than like baked goods. Three pounds of fear, two spoonfuls of panic, a pinch of shock, and maybe, just maybe a pinch of joy. _

_Massie remained speechless. _

_Cam looked at her, "I'm sorry, Mass." He had no idea where he was going with this. But somewhere along the lines of being best friends, one of them was bound to look at the other as more than a friend. And that happened to be Cam, unfortunetly. _

_He felt awful, absolutely awful, because Massie just looked like she was in so much pain. Her perfect face radiated energy of confusion and maybe anger. Cam couldn't tell. But all he knew was that he screwed up. Screwed up bad. He felt his stomach churning, his face burning red, his tongue turning dry. It was a horrible feeling._

_But then, Massie said, "I ... kinda like you too."_

_Cam's eyes met hers, surprised drawn in both his pupils, he opened his mouth to say something. But Massie beat him to it, "But, you're with Alicia and i'm with Chris and there's nothing we can really do about that, can we?"_

**a/n: ew. i think that chapter was horrible :/ i guess, it's all the rewriting i had to do O: anyway, the next chapter will be the last one, kay? **

**read and review. **


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